It’s back to school season, which means back to routines and back to therapy! Summer is over and now it’s time to process. It’s like a mini New Year’s where we get to buckle down again and get serious about whatever we want to accomplish before the year ends. My books have just filled up with lots of friendly new faces and I just finished nearly a dozen consultation calls. I absolutely love working with people who are new to therapy and over the years have noticed that they often have no clue what to expect from this process nor do they realize how individualized this process can and should be and how much agency they have in making it so. I thought it might help to jot down a few things to think about to make the therapist selecting process a bit easier. Before you book your first session with a new therapist, here are a few things to think about to make the most of your therapy experience.
*Pro tip* before we dive in, ask for a consultation call! It is a great way to discuss these things without having to share your life story with someone only to realize the therapist isn’t a great fit and now you have to start over from square one, or worse yet, decide to just give up on therapy altogether!
What do you want out of this space?
What a lot of people don’t realize is that therapy is first and foremost your space. The therapist is merely a skilled facilitator. You as the client get to decide what you want out of this weekly hour. Are you looking to vent? Soundboard? Work on emotions? Change a behavior? Improve self esteem or relationships? It is completely up to you. Be sure you are clear on this prior to scheduling a consultation call or initial session as it is critical that we as your therapists know what are your intentions for therapy to help us figure out how we can be of service and if we are a good fit. Here are three more questions that can help you reflect.
What are we working on?
Therapist best practices encourage us to have a general plan for treatment for each client, and insurance companies require it. We generally are advised to collaboratively create concrete goals with our clients and have associated action steps that will result in measurable outcomes. Insurance companies also require therapists to diagnose clients and have parameters around what types of diagnoses can be treated with mental health coverage, as well as what types of treatment are reimbursable. If you are hoping to just have a dedicated space to process whatever comes up in your daily grind and don’t have anything in particular you want to work on, you may want to seek a private pay therapist who won’t have to justify treatment to an insurance company. Otherwise, be ready to provide honest descriptions of what it is you hope to achieve in therapy. Common examples include managing symptoms related to anxiety, depression, ADHD, and mood disorders; resolving eating disorders; and improving relationships, self-esteem, and communication. You don’t have to have a super detailed plan or goal ready to go, but at least an idea of something you want to discuss from week to week.
What type of approach feels good for you?
This question may be difficult if you are new to therapy. Therapists have different approaches in their treatment in many ways ranging from where they provide therapy (virtual or in-person) to actual treatment modalities used. There are many specific treatments that have been developed for particular disorders. For example EMDR (Eye Movement Reprocessing Desensitization) was developed to help trauma survivors resolve symptoms of PTSD, and DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) is the best treatment for individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder. Many who are somewhat familiar with therapy have heard of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) which is found to be an effective treatment for anxiety, OCD, and depression. It’s okay if you are unfamiliar with specific therapy types, as many therapists don’t stick to just one treatment modality, and a therapist is ethically obligated to let you know if they feel they are unequipped to provide adequate treatment based on your needs and we are usually able to figure that out in a consultation phone call if not within a few sessions.
Additionally, think about how you would like a therapist to interact with you. Would you prefer to work with someone who is more direct and expressive, asking questions and giving you clear feedback? Or would you feel more comfortable with someone who will encourage you to do most of the talking and remain on the quieter side? Think about some basic personality qualities that might appeal to you, like whether or not you may prefer a provider who is structured and carefully tracks progress, or perhaps someone who is more casual and laid back. Your comfort in this space is incredibly important, so I highly recommend you discuss these details and preferences in a consultation call prior to deciding on a therapist.
Are you ready?
The idea of therapy is definitely a mixed bag. Some people absolutely look forward to a neutral and safe space that is completely their own, while others are horrified about the idea of talking about feelings and personal things at all, let alone with a complete stranger. Whether you are seeking treatment on your own initiative or someone is strongly encouraging you to go, it is important that you are on some level ready to actually share something. It doesn’t have to be everything right away. A good therapist should match your pace, but we cannot force you to talk and I have yet to meet a telepath. We know what questions to ask and how to get the ball rolling, but we need our clients to willingly let us get to know them and be receptive to feedback. This doesn’t mean you have to have instant insight and implement change immediately or even always agree, but rather be prepared to hear your therapist make observations or reflections about things that might be difficult to talk about or that you hadn’t noticed before. Reflection and exploration are critical parts of the therapeutic process. Again, you get to decide what you want from the space and what type of therapist might suit you best, but at the end of the day you are likely stepping into this relationship to make change in one way or another, so be open to it.
I hope you find these questions helpful as you prepare to begin your therapy journey. Again, this is your space and you get to decide what you do with it. I’ll conclude with another *pro tip* that many of my younger clients found somewhat horrifying: you are always allowed to give your therapist feedback or tell them what you need or prefer from them. We are here to be a support for you and want this space to be comfortable and safe for you.
Happy Therapist Searching!
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